


The Ghost in the Machine

by madraykin



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 03:37:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madraykin/pseuds/madraykin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fernando sees something that plants a thought that he can't get rid of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost in the Machine

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written (and set) in 2007.
> 
> Original authors notes: 
> 
> Yay, I finished something! Of course it isn't one of the fics I've had half written for months but I suppose I can't have everything. The picture mentioned is, of course, [this one](http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c41/gemonemo/F1/youreyesbychocolatefishxi5.jpg).

He stumbles across it by accident whilst surfing some motorsport forum. It’s clearly not a real picture, but he finds himself staring at Kimi’s mouth, lips slightly parted, and at the smooth curve of his neck. He clicks away hurriedly when he thinks about stroking the soft looking patch of skin behind Kimi’s ear and feels a strange irrational burst of dislike for Jenson.

* * *

He’s managed to half convince himself that the blond hair and blue eyes which keep appearing in the dreams that make him wake up hot and sticky belong to some woman.

An actress maybe. The one Heikki likes. He thinks she’s named after a colour.

* * *

He tells himself over and over again that he is not in denial. Because being in denial would mean that there was something to deny. Which, he tells himself, there very certainly isn’t.

* * *

It’s the night of the FIA gala, and it’s the first time he’s seen Kimi since he saw that picture (looking at the photographs from testing doesn’t count, he was only looking to see if anyone was running anything new and interesting)

He tells himself that the feeling in his stomach is because he’s going to have to spend the evening in the company of Lewis being endlessly reminded about just how bad the last year was.

* * *

He is both deeply relieved and strangely upset that rather than get angry Kimi just squeezes his arm and walks away when he asks the Finn to leave him alone.

* * *

He thinks he’s slowly going mad when it’s January and he’s still having those dreams. Only now every flash of blond hair in the street turns into the man in his dreams.

* * *

He is sure that Kimi has noticed that something is wrong by now.

He finds himself being stiff and standoffish when congratulating Kimi after the races when once it was free and easy.

This year rather than staying in Kimi’s room, laughing or watching TV and falling asleep together on Kimi’s bed, long after Heikki has left to go back to Catherine, he makes his excuses and flees at the same time as Heikki.

* * *

He feels Kimi’s eyes on him during the driver’s briefings and during press conferences.

He knows somewhere deep inside that Kimi is going to get fed up of waiting for him to explain what’s wrong fairly soon.

* * *

He’s hovering in the corridor of another nondescript hotel, outside the room he left just a few hours ago.

He screws up his courage and knocks on the door in front of him.

He is on the verge of running away when the door opens to reveal a sleep ruffled Kimi who blinks vaguely at him for a moment before he gestures him inside.

He stands and fidgets next to the door as Kimi heads to the mini-bar and pours two glasses of water.

Kimi hands him one of the glasses before sitting down on the bed and patting the patch of mattress next to him.

He joins Kimi on the bed, slightly further away than indicated, and sips his water whilst watching Kimi out of the corner of is eye. He can see Kimi watching him back.

He knows Kimi won’t push him to say anything. Equally he knows that now he’s here Kimi won’t let him go until everything has been said.

* * *

He’s fed up of sitting here in silence. He feels almost defiant as he drains his glass and puts is decisively down on the table next to the bed.

He moves fast; taking the glass from Kimi’s hand, reaching to put it down with its twin, shifting so he’s straddling Kimi’s lap and pressing his lips to Kimi’s.

* * *

He doesn’t expect that anything will actually come of this. In fact the small part of his brain which isn’t concentrated on the feel and taste of Kimi’s lips under his is already wondering if there’s any way he can claim that he’s drunk right now.

It’s a surprise when he tries to pull back to face the anger and recriminations to find that he can’t get far because one of Kimi’s hands is clutching at his back and the other is curled around his neck.

He looks down at Kimi’s face and sees the Finn's lips slightly parted and glossy, his cheeks slightly flushed and his eyes soft and smiling.

As Kimi tugs his head back down to join their lips in another kiss Kimi murmurs against his lips.

“I wondered how long it would take for you to work it out.”

* * *

The next morning when he has finally convinced Kimi to wake up, and Kimi does take some waking up, he confesses that he’d never have worked it out if it hadn’t been for that picture.

Kimi laughs.


End file.
